Suspicion by Barbara Rogan

Author:Barbara Rogan
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster

15

EMMA DRIVES Zack to practice Tuesday afternoon. Midway down a residential street lined by candy-colored bungalows and basketball hoops, a small boy on a red bike swings out of a blind driveway directly into her path. At the first blur of motion Emma slams on the brakes. Squealing, the car shudders to a halt ten yards from the child, who stands frozen, one foot on the ground, eyes round with shock, mouth a perfect O. “Jeez, what an idiot!” says Zack, seated in the back. Emma pulls over to the curb and shoves the gearshift into park. She leans her arms against the wheel and her head on her arms. She sees another street, another child’s face, streaked with rain, peering upward.

Zack’s voice is close to her ear. “You okay, Mom?”

“Fine.” When she raises her head, the boy is gone.

Somehow she finds the courage to drive on. At the park, Zack grabs his soccer bag and runs. Emma follows slowly. She ought to go home and make dinner, but no way is she driving those two extra trips. Her stomach hollow, she buys a chocolate ice cream cone at the clubhouse kiosk and sits at a picnic table to eat it. The rest of the team trickles past. The mothers smile and call out, “Hello, Emma”; none stops to talk. Emma thinks of Roger, snug in his office. This is his doing, exiling them to this suburban hinterland, putting her in this position. Insisting that she drive, when she would happily have gone the rest of her life without ever again touching a steering wheel; informing her with infuriating equanimity that it’s for her own good, and preening as it seemed to work. Emma has grown calmer behind the wheel, she no longer hyperventilates or clamps the wheel so hard her knuckles ache. But all she’s really learned is how to fake it. Inside, nothing has changed. She knows she’s overcautious; but that plus a token will get her on the subway.

The bench shakes. Nick Sanders has appeared and planted himself beside her. His son groans. “Dad,” he says, making it two syllables.

“Go ahead and warm up; I’ll be there in a minute.” Nick turns to Emma. “Staying for practice?”

“Might as well. It’s a beautiful day.”

“Very beautiful,” he says, staring at her.

Her ice cream is melting, dripping down the outside of the cone. Emma licks around the edges.

“You look like a kid,” Nick says. “Ice cream all over your face.” With one hand he steadies her chin, with the other he traces the outline of her mouth. It’s a gesture of startling intimacy, and the look in his eyes is unambiguous. Emma bats his hand away and wipes her mouth with a napkin.

He produces a hangdog look. It doesn’t fool Emma, who sees him laughing behind his eyes.

“Sorry,” he says. “Sometimes I get carried away.”

“We own a rather large German shepherd puppy,” she says. “I’ve always considered it our responsibility to control him.”

“Point taken, Mrs. Koenig. From now on, I promise to curb my inner dog.

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